Post by PaigeinMourning on May 18, 2017 18:22:34 GMT -8
I'm bis**ual, and I found out that when I was watching a TV show with one of my favourite actresses/singers on it and her character was bis**ual, and once they described it, I knew I wasn't a lesbian like I had thought earlier. I had a HUGE goofy ass crush on this girl. Although I later on found out that she was like 3or4 years older than me and was secretly a meth head or something.
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 18, 2017 13:34:12 GMT -8
Wow! My depression just got f***ing cured! thank you so f***ing much for telling me people have it worse than me.
Because that's gonna help anyone. Even though people do have it WAY worse than me or others, it doesn't diminish the pain we have to face each day. Seriously, whoever this person is (not you Nate) go f*** yourself. You're probably just another piece of "Phan" trash trying to act like you're depressed because you saw a suicide meme on tumblr while listening to emo ass bulls*** like 21 pilots. Seriously, if I could be as privelledged as this f***ing turd and have a mother who actually DID love me unconditionally, my mouth would be shut.
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 18, 2017 9:32:55 GMT -8
Hi! My name is Paige, I'm 17, I like a lot of music. I'm a bit shy, I guess. I plan on dying my hair indigo soon! I am home schooled and I don't have many friends. I live on the eastern time zone and I am quite the night owl most of the time. I'm on this site quite often and I don't mind being a mod. I would LOVE to be a moderator for many reasons. The top one being that I do not like it when people make spammy posts or make fake suicide notes (it happens quite often). I just lost my best friend to suicide (this is actually her old account I am on.) And I would like to do my best to try and help people with their problems. I know a lot of people contact you about stuff like that, and I would love to help! Any section would be fine, but if I had to pick, I would go more towards the "Personal Life" section. I hope you pick me, but also if you don't/can't I won't get super mad.
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 18, 2017 2:38:37 GMT -8
Y'know, people all over the world are going thru tough times as we speak. Who are we to judge someone and say that what we are going thru is worse? My best friend just killed herself at 15, my house has no running water, I'm broke AF and my mom abuses me, and I'm 17 years old and I have to look after a small child.
Even tho I've got all this s*** going on and more, I know that some people have it way worse than I do.
And f*** you. Some people can't call the cops, because it will endanger others in their household. And I for one know CPS won't do s***, and I've tried. So why don't you go f*** yourself, if all you have to bring is negativity.
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 17, 2017 17:43:17 GMT -8
Also, @marcinette, it won't let me reply to your Emails. If you could find another way to chat with me, that'd be nice. I'm sorry you can't get an account :(. I think I may take your suggestion about trying to move this or share it somewhere else. :). I hope all is well with you and your aunt:)
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 17, 2017 15:08:13 GMT -8
I'm 17 and I lost my virginity to a guy at 15 and to a girl at 16. I loved them both very dearly, and I still believe after all this time that that girl was the love of my life, even tho I have dated people after her. I did wait until I "found the right one" with the person I lost it to. Mostly because the first person I ever dated back in Yorkshire was a crazy American transfer White boy that wanted to shoot up our school more than anything else. 😰
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 17, 2017 14:55:46 GMT -8
I have another update, but first, because my E-mail isn't working: Marcinette, since I know you stalk this thread :P, I got your E-mail, thank you :). I am free this Friday, and Jazz won't mind driving with me. Please E-mail me your phone number so I can elaborate.
UPDATE: My Girlfriend has revealed to me that at a public library near our town you can pay about $50 dollars for a "mini memorial". You get to put up a picture of the person, some flowers, any ashes (I got to keep her urn) and a space of the wall where people who knew the deceased can put up quotes or memories they had with them.
I am going to do this, and I will need your help!
Since Alison had a small social life, she was active on many online sites, all with the same username. (4SplitLemons or 4SplitLemons77)
If you have done ANY of the following, please pm this account here @ the Onision forums. (PaigeInMourning)
1. Talked to Alison IRL (I am not going to reveal her last name or state, but you would know, because of the paper or local news.)
2. Messaged her or made ANY notable interaction with her on ANY site (most likely the forums) please let me know! Screenshots or any form of proof would be much appreciated!
3. Have any general kind words that you would like to have put on there. I am trying to think of what to put on the "headstone" (similar to one, but carved into wood). Any sort of anything would be appreciated.
There is a deadline, May 24th 2017.
If you have ANY questions, feel free to ask!
Thank you to those who have chosen to help/plan on it!!
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 17, 2017 14:46:51 GMT -8
The people on the Onision forums CHOOSE what topic they want to post on. If someone clicked on this, it is their business to post on it if they feel. Don't ever say anything like that to someone going through a hard time, just because you got pissy that you saw this post, doesn't mean that you need to say it. For all we know, this person could be dead.
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 15, 2017 14:43:51 GMT -8
And @xbabaygirlx, I'm sorry for whatever you are going through as well. It really sucks having all this stuff happen in my life, but I get comfort in knowing I'm not alone. It's gonna be a while before I can breathe without my lungs feeling heavy, or my sleep without my dreams interspersed with memories of our time together. I know this from previous trauma, but like you said, it gets easier, but it will hurt. I feel alone a lot, and even more so now that she is gone, but I know that my feelings of aloneness are shared by many people. Thank you, and everyone who commented for your kind words. I just realised the forums changed, so I didn't see these right away, I hope everyone is having a nice day and whatnot, I've got to go for now, but I will be back on later.
Post by PaigeinMourning on May 15, 2017 14:33:18 GMT -8
@skylabrynth (it wouldn't let me quote you :(.) It does, I lay awake thinking about what I could've done. She called me the night before, but my phone was off. I was out of town, and wasn't scheduled to come back until the 10th. There are so many ways I could've just been there for her, and I wasn't. I really feel like a s***ty friend. I know I really shouldn't, but I can't help it. I look at pictures of her and I imagine her doing the things she loved like doing her makeup or playing music. She won't ever get to do those things again, and that's the choice she made, but I can't help but feel like I could've told her that she didn't need to. She can't ever progress and grow up. She'll never get to breathe and smile, but at least she'll never have to starve, or cry, or get beaten. She was only 15, and yet she had been through so much. I wish she could've told me more, because I can relate. Anyways, thank you. And I hope you have a nice day as well.
This is so sad. I kinda stalk this thread lol. And Alison seems chill. I talked to her on an old account on one of the forums (one that you are not on) and she's really nice. We talked a lot about music, I LOVE Lush too, I even saw them live when they were touring on their reunion. Her story touched me a lot. And I haven't cut because of it. I'm so sorry about your loss. She seemed like a hella cool chick, and she seemed like she would've been fun to hang out with irl.
I really hope a lot of people see this. This deserves more comments and likes and I think Onision should do a video on her. This is truly inspiring. I am privileged enough to have a loving Mom and dad, a nice house, friends and everything I could ever want in life. To hear of struggles like this make me realize how miniscule mine actually are. I need to get off of my ass and stop crying. I'm not even that depressed and I only get sad about once a week, I should be happy for what I have, and this made me realize it. After reading this I told my parents I loved them, and we cried.
I'm so sorry for your loss, may Alison truly rest in peace.
@marcinette, I'm glad that you talked to her, especially about music. That was one of the things that she got bullied for, was the fact she wasn't into mumble rap or trap or whatever. What else did she talk to you about? She posted some other versions of that suicide note on different posting sites, and she mentioned some stuff that I didn't even know about. Why don't you have an account anymore? You should get one and pm me, you seem chill. I'm glad she helped you as well, she sure helped me, and I will never forget her.