A First World Problem Ruined My Life Jan 9, 2017 18:16:42 GMT -8
Post by on Jan 9, 2017 18:16:42 GMT -8
hi, no one here really needs to know who i am, its not important, what is important is this: I am a theater kid..(told you it was a first world problem) i have been one since i could walk and talk. i am currently at a really bad point in my life, i think my mom is emotionally and verbally abusive as well as borderline physical (idk if hitting or throwing things really counts as abuse.. so borderline it is)i find myself lying to my parents often(not my friends) my grades are going somewhat down hill and there is a pretty good chance i have some form of depression. i do not cut any more(because of onision), just letting you all know. as i said, i sometimes lie, well today i went to theater practice instead of cross country off season practice, i failed to tell my mom where i went and lied to her for a solid 20 minutes until she started to gather information from people on the xc team that i didnt run , then at that point i just yelled out, "I went to theater." A lot of yelling from my mom later, i am now not allowed to take part in the play, aka the bane of my existence, where my only irl friends are, and where and when i can just be totally and completely myself. i refuse to cry in front of people, but my life crashed around me. as i said earlier, i no longer cut, however, i cry on the daily and often do not sleep. i am not allowed to get any form of professional help and there is no one left to go to in school, as my main support system from last year blocked me out of his life ( understandably i guess) early in the summer before he left for college. i have been having stronger feelings for people, be they lust, love or hate and while i do not show these emotions, i feel my self overflowing and quite simply, im scared. really really scared, i didnt want pity but maybe this is a lowkey cry for help. if anyone and i mean ANYONE has any ideas or words of wisdom it would be appreciated beyond anything, but even if no one sees this, im happy to have put at least a preview of my life into words, and for that i thank onision, thanks man, stay golden.